Limbo

So im tired of not having a job and not having a goal and not being motivated so ince no one wants to hire me im looking at online courses. Something productive right, i hate sitting on my butt all day and doing nothing. i started excerising every morning. and now i want more. im craving to learn! its driving me nuts! its worse than my tattoo addiction!
so ive been looking at colleges and filling things out all day. looking into criminal psychology, because its something that's always interested me but everyone said dont do it. Fuck what everyone says, i did what everyone says and i fuckin got kicked out of the college i was in for no good reason! so now im gonna do it MY WAY!
im gonna do what i want to and learn about things that actually fuckin interest me! instead of photojournalism, i mean yes i want to travel and take pictures but id rather do it for myself than for a job. That way im the only critic of my work. Psychology and abnormal psychology has always been interesting to me, especially criminal psychology, finding out what drives them to do the horrific things they do. Curiosity killed the cat, and i've got plenty of lives left for now.
Im sitting on the ledge letting my feet dangle over the side, waiting for the water to rise. So that when i jump i wont hit the rocks. But i guess whether i hit the rocks or not doesnt really matter anymore, I just want to jump.