Tuesday is my Monday this week

things are ridciluous as usual....sarah is having a whole boat load of problems. i'm stressing out over all my stuff: School: my online math class, then my after school math class coming up in may. plus my French, English, Creative writing, and TA for ms. Leahy (which is really just busy working). then there's home life: where i'm trying to learn how to not be territorily, and be nice and sisterly so sarah who never really had a sterdy home. i mean yes i love her, she's awesome....i just need to get past myself lol and she needs a fucking back bone, other wise i'm gonna chew her to shreds and not realize it one of these days. then feel like an ass.
so the quicker she toughens up the easier my life will be. hurting her feelings will be one less thing to worry about. lol
things have been "fixed" with ahrielle. we're friends again, not that we ever stopped, we just kinda cut each other off. but anyway......

yesterday i was super nostalgic, i dont know why....so i got a bunch of photos and cut them up and pasted them into my new journal, i consider it a chrisaning (i know i spelled that worng, but i dont feel like looking it up so there)
just as things seem to get easier they get a little harder too.
i'm so EXCITED! my camera should be coming in the end of this week! its a Cannon Rebel EOS (i'm drooling as we speak)
i'm gonna have to buy another battery for it though. other than that I"M SO EXCITED! that is what i'm making my self look forward too.
Oh yeah, and there's the doctors....and all their fuck ups. they messed up my appointment, so what else is new? lol now instead of the headahce clinic i'm going to the sleep clinic. because i'm having problems with both. lol anways.......YEAH CAMERA!!!! 10 pixel. xD i'm so excited.
plus my moms friend wants me to do the photography for her wedding.=D
then my friend ashley is getting married in the summer i think, in june. i don't remember whast josh said.
but i have a dress that will work for both. Oh Yeah. one i get for, one i get to celebrate.
i'm triyng this new thing callled being positive....and its kinda hard work. lol

Oh Boy....

i'm in studyhall listening to kyle make fun of people.....some of the things he says are SO mean.
it worries me what he says about me when i'm not around.
He has messed up teeth and he just moved away!! YESH! =D
anyways, i got a new haircut, and i like it. its cute. and VERY veritile. I can air dry it, straighten it, curl it, blow dry the bangs and it all looks good.
things are going very well in my life right now. and i'm happy. and i like it.
 i'm just worried about what's gonna happen when this good graces period is over.....

"What is love?"
 Love is a hypocrisy. Means nothing. No one knows what it really means bc it doesn't actually exist. No one has a soul mate and no one can be together with another person happily for the rest of their life. Love is a figure of you imagination. And it will never be anything more.

my friend posted this the other day. It kinda made me mad that she posted because it makes her a hypocrit....so whatever. i completely disagree with this statement.

my brain is an odd place.

Happiness

i was so overwhelmed with it today that i cried.

It was a great day because my mother is offically debt free.

paid off the house. and bought herself new  clothes.

and sent money to my sister (who is injured and cant work at the moment)

things just seemed to fall into place today.

and i just cried i was so happy to see my mom stress free

not having to worry about the bills and such.

after everything she (my mom) has been through things have finally evened out.

and it just makes me so happy. i can't even explain, that's probly why i started crying earlier. lol

but i just felt the need to share this extrodinary moment of clearity.

she can finally hold her head up and smile and say " i wanna go shopping"

instead of " maybe next weekend."
its teh most triumphant feeling to watch her buy clothes and not worry about what she's spending.
i'm gonna sleep a little easier tonight knowing that she's gonna be a little more than alright. =)
i love my ma.

BORED!!!! in studyhall

i know i'm nothing special
i know that you arent too
i know i'm nothing special and that my atitatude is blue.
i know that your obnoxius that ou make me insane.
but that's okay cuase i know we're nothing special
and we never wil be again.