Fighitng for it.

So i made her talk to me today. and all is not lost. She is just under a lot of stress right now and i can accept that as an excuse. Because i am also in the same boat. it seems as though we were taking out our frustrations on each other, cuz we're good like that. But i talked to her and cleared all this up. We're on the mend because she was hurting then made me hurt so we're trying to figure some shit out here. In a way i'm glad this happened because i found that more people cared about me than i thought. Which i know sounds stupid because someone always cares...but a lot of people came through for me, some unexpected. And i'm thankful to know that i have the friendship of so many good people. so i would like to say Thank You. and that i really appreciate your concern. Thank you for being there for me when i thought i lost my head. It doesn't happen very often, when i swallow my pride and thank people but they surprised me and brought me back to my senses.
I feel more accomplished...Today i made a goal for college, repaired a friendship, helped someone with their "problems" and i think i'm making a "new" friend....not really new but we're civilized to each other now and its nice for a change. =)
On another note, i'm being tortured. lol
Mentally, i like my ex. i know, i know there's a reason he's an EX. I get it. so i told him thinking he would just blow it off like "ohh whatever that's cool" instead he's talking to me MORE! and paying attention to me more and flirting with me. Its killing me. He has a girlfriend and i would never do anything to mess that up, but it just makes my life that much harder. I kinda wish he would've freaked out and avoided me but instead i got the opposite reaction. DAMNIT. Why is it that all the guys i have a thing for are always taken or i find out there taken? that's like saying "Haha. your never gonna get a date."  i'm not very excited about it let me tell you. But yeah I'm starting to feel like a much more productive human being. I have a goal, something to look forward to, to work towards. Today relieved a lot of stress which means i might actually sleep tonight. xD
In conclusion i've reinforced the statement of "Inorder to get something done you have to get off your ass and make it happen, things don't just fall into you lap." I'm finally climbing out of that fuckin ditch.

"its like i'm stuck in a hole and everytime i go to climb out someone kicks me back in."
"then i bring you a rope ladder."  
"Yeah and bring a lanter."
"You have a rope ladder what do you need a lanter for?"
"Toss it down there for the next person."

Thanks.