Fuckin Boys

Boy T: i saw him the other day in wal*mart and he pulled me into one of those hard "i missed you" hugs. and then asks me how i'm doing and why we haven't hung out then hugs me again and kisses my forehead. He held me for a long moment then his girlfriend comes around teh corner and he pushes me away and says "Get off me, i have a girlfriend. Kate"  he sai dmy name is such contempt i was shocked. I just walked away slightly crushed., we went from being best friends and having a thing for each other to this. To him being unable to look me in the eye as i walked away in shock. he emailed me later that nght and said he was sorry but he had to do it because his GF felt threatened by me. that's why we stopped hanging out. Then says not to contact him anymore. so i lost a best friend that i cared a little more for. Yes i liked him but that was it. i'm no a slut thank you. if someone has a gf i try not to get involved. but he was teh one who kissed me in the library. I pushed HIM off. but i'm still the bad guy. whatever.

Boy M: I haven't talked to him in months then out of the blue he called me two nights ago and starts screaming in my ear "Your a stupid bitch, and a terrible friend" just a bunch of shit like that. He has Never raised his voice to me EVER. not even to play around. He has Never called me anything like that ever out of the five years i've known the kid. we've been best friends since we met. i've been there for every little thing that has ever gone wrong in his life and helped him straighten it out. then he got a new gf and stopped talking to me for atleast six months then he calls and freaks out on me out of no where? that really hurt me. that was like losing a brother.

Boy B: I dont know what to do about him. he makes me feel like someone actually wants me. he makes me feel beautiful and happy and relaxed. and i dont understand wy he keeps coming back honestly.
i'm a bitch to him more than im nice. i feel about it but all the questions he asks and all the conclusions he makes about me and the way he makes fun of me it makes me SO MAD. like seriously pisses me off in like a matter of seconds. but i know that he honestly cares and i dont know what to think about that. i know i could never offically date him. he makes me too mad. he's an awesome guy dont get me wrong he's just not what i'm looking for.....so i dont know what to think about him. he seems to be the only way i can relax lately.

On top of that Steph teh driver's ed teacher hates me and gives me shit about EVERYTHING. and ya know what with all the shit going on i'm getting seriously depressed. I feel like i just fail at everything. and its killing me. i'm normally i'm a fast learner and pick things up quick. but steph just wont give me an inch.

Mander has been going through some shit and all i can do is be there for her. but she knows i am.

So much shit has happened in a course of like three days and its insane. lol who lives like this?!
   i Do. everyday, all the time. and that's alright with me.
this just seriously suck this week. so next week should be better. i can't wait until driver's ed is over.
I'm just worried on whether or not i'll pass.
i'm sure things will work out.
so ya i thought i'd tell you cuz i felt like it. so any kind of cheering up would be great.
Thank You,
<3 Katie