TGIF

So today you tell me you still have feelings for me, then you tell me your dating some gross chick....after we had been hanging out the last two days. When you told me you dating HER it felt like i was being punched in the stomach. Am i really that low on the list of attractive that you have to go and date her just because you want to be in with "The Crowd" because i'm pretty sure they don' tcare about you. Falling yes its fun, but then you hit the ground and realize "Oh Shit! i think i broke my leg on teh way down."

Today was really just something i didn't need to add on my list of bullshit to deal with.......For example my gram is dying and she doesn't want to see me, im not even allowed in her house anymore. They justmoved the hospital bed into her house today, and the doctor  said it shouldn't be long now. i thought i was gonna throw up.  

My heart is being pulled in seventeen diffrent directions and all i feel like doing right now is crawling under my blankets with a boxe of cheezits and a bottle of Cherry Coke and never coming out. They just put me on new medication. Anti-anxiety stuff. and its working fo rthe most part, i can actually sleep at night now. But we'll see how long that lasts.